i'm ready to DO

{okay so third consecutive blog post in one day... actually gonna use today's date this time. haha!}

Nursing school is hard.
Really hard.
And I wasn't prepared maybe...
1st semester was great.
I kinda loved it, in fact.
2nd semester.
Well... It's hard.

So here are my thoughts on life after the difficulties of failing tests and scraping by with C's and still working part-time and trying to maintain some type of life...

4/3/14

Hello God,
  I feel like I've just awakened. Just now opened my eyes. Not my physical eyes; my soul eyes. And I'm ashamed it's taken me this long to really SEE. But it's time to move on from all things in the past. All bad habits and laziness and procrastination and selfishness. Because laziness is a sin! And if I don't DO something I am selfishly throwing away the best opportunity for success you've ever given me. I'm ready to DO. I'm ready to be a DOER! Help me when I fail though. Which is, unfortunately, often. Give me wisdom and strength. Help me stay awake when I need to pull an all-nighter to study, because I like sleep a little too much. Help me stay focused and undistracted, because I like books a little too much, and netflix is a pit of darkness that is hard to crawl out of.
  You know my weaknesses (all too well, I'm sure). And now I recognize them fully...or, rather, more than I did a few weeks ago. So I'm ready to take your all powerful, steady arm and move forward without looking back.
  Sure, I'll make mistakes again. Probably several before the day is over. But I am going to FIGHT. I'm going to fight the sin inside my flesh. Because things have to be different. Starting now.

Love you,
Katie

My beautiful friend, Bethany, sent me this devotion the same day I wrote that^ in my prayer journal.

"Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him." Luke 8:25, NIV
  Is there something you are facing - whether in your outer circumstances or in your inner character that seems impossible to command? Something that has baffled you and outwitted you a thousand times, and appears that it will win over you in the end?
  Don't despair. Don't shrug and give up.
  Our Lord - your Lord and mine - can command even the most difficult, unruly thing that seems as if it will never be commanded.
  Let His word "even" be comfort to you. He who commands even the winds and water (and they must obey Him) - He can say to that "even" of yours, "Peace, be still."
  And there will come for you "a great calm" (Mark 4:39).
  Remember that there is nothing you are asked to do in your own strength. Not the least thing, nor the greatest.
  Isn't that amazing?
  How utterly foolish it is to plead weakness when we - even you and I - may move into the stream of that power. If only we will.
--Even This... by Amy Carmichael

So, onward I go. Onward I fight. This hard thing called nursing school...I can do it, with God at my side!